The trip to my Alma Mater started Friday morning. After spending the night at the parents' place, we hit the road to finish the final 4+ hours of the trip. One thing that's hit me as I get older is how much more the drive sucks now. It's certainly not intolerable. I can handle it just fine. But it just feels so much longer now. When I was in college and in the time immediately following, I could make that trip without a blink, and oftentimes I flat-out loved it. I think during the course of my 40582 commutes between the Twin Cities and the greater Madison area during my life I've managed to make a pit-stop at every single exit on I-94. My favorite? Tough to say. But we did stop at a few along the way since the wife's bladder isn't as strong as mine.... ok, I also was feeling like dogshit due to some flu-like symptoms, so the stops were appreciated.
During the drive we got the news about the Olympics deciding Chicago wasn't worthy of discussing for more than 10 minutes, and voted them out as a finalist in the first round. The wife and I had mixed feelings. She was one of those who I think really deep down wanted the games. Me? Whatev. If Chicago got them, great, that's exciting. If they didn't, I would lose exactly 0 seconds of sleep and worry in my life over it.
The wife and I hit the Twin Cities around 2pm that afternoon. Our first stop? The Coffman Memorial Student Union on Campus. There were 2 reasons for this stop:
1) I wanted a new Minnesota shirt from the bookstore there since all my old shirts are either way too big now (I've lost a couple lbs), too tattered, and the bulk of them are very sport-specific that they would give out when you bought student season tickets
2) I wanted to actually see the damn thing. If you read the Wikipedia entry for Coffman, you'll notice a passage discussing renovations from 1999-2003.... which just happens to be the entire span of my student experience at the UofM. So, thanks for shutting down the place for 4 years, regents.
But, yeah, it looks good. It would have been wonderful to use at some point during four(!!!) years.
After buying a couple shirts and browsing about a bit, we got back in the car and wandered to one of my old stomping grounds, Sally's. It was here that I once gave my phone number to a waitress, who turned out to be the girlfriend of Nick Angell, a big Gopher hockey player at the time ... She never called. The big deal here in my days was Taco Tuesday. I think it was like $5 for all you can eat tacos, which is astounding. Now they've got banners up for "Kill the Keg Thursdays," which is where they open up a keg at like 10pm on Thursday night and everyone can drink free until it's gone. That's a great deal if you catch it on the right night....
At Sally's the wife and I were eating, enjoying a local Grain Belt Beer and I looked around and noticed it was us and like 50 old people. It was at this point that I turned to the wife and said, "It's official. We are now those old people who go to the bar early so we avoid the rush of young'uns." Sadly, she knew I was right. At least we both got carded, so that made us feel better about our place in the world. Right next door to Sally's is Gold Country/Goldy's Locker Room, which is another clothing store. I got this.
We then went on a little drive around the campus, showing off a couple of my old living quarters, seeing the new stadium for the first time, seeing what, if anything, has been done to Siebert Field, arguably the worst baseball stadium for a D-1 baseball school. While on the drive, we passed Dinkytown Liquors and I told the story of how my obsession with Welch's Sparkling Stawberry Soda started there. I would walk home from class, stop at the vending machine and get it. Generally it would be gone before I got home because it tasted so damn good. But since I left the UofM, I've had it maybe 3 times? It's one of the most impossible drinks to find anywhere in the world. It's a shame, because something that good needs to be consumed by men, women and children. Everywhere. All the time. It's beyond good. Anyways, we decided to get some Grain Belt for the hotel (when in Rome....), so we stopped at the liquor store and I walked over to the vending machine to reminisce. When what are my eyes shocked to see more than 6 (SIX!!!) full years later?....
(Yes, it's what you think it is)
I couldn't believe my damn eyes. I had to put money in, select it, and prove that it was still in there. Best $1.25 I've ever spent. All the feelings of my younger and more youthful, joyful days came rushing back as I held that bright pink manna of the gods in my hands. The sun came out and Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" began to play down from the heavens (I won't link to it. I'll spare you, kind reader). Needless to say, after this blessing, this anti-omen, I felt like the weekend would be perfect from start to finish.
We checked in to the hotel downtown. The Hilton. We were mildly out of place. They were hosting some sort of Save the Children fundraiser or some crazy gathering and us in our jeans and t's were surrounded by black-tie event goers. I felt worse for my wife who decided shortly after we got there to head down and try to get a run in at the fitness center and had to walk through the crowd afterwards all sweaty and gross. Apparently she got plenty of looks... and not sexy ones.
After relaxing in the room for a bit, we headed out to The Local, a nice bar downtown about 200 steps from our place. We met a few of the wife's friends out and I enjoyed some great drinks Incase you were at the bar and forgot what you ordered, they have glasses labeled for every single tap beer on their roster. It's true!
(Can you guess what I was drinking?)
The night as a whole was, in a word, pleasant. Just sitting around, chatting, low-key, relaxing non-loud bar. Just a good night of drinking and getting ready for the game in a handful of hours. And just enough beer to knock me out once we got to the hotel and help give me a good night's sleep.
Looking out the window of the room at 7am on Saturday I saw raindrops, flags flying completely straight due to heavy wind gusts, and people on the street wearing 9 layers. It's October 3. Not December 3. Not February 3. Not even November 3. October 3. You know where this game would be tolerable today? The Dome. I'm a huge Dome apologist as I've mentioned. Love the Dome. It's temp-controlled, all the seats have seatbacks, you can drink during college games, etc. Just the apple of my eye. But today, and for the looooooong haul, we're going to be enjoying the game at TCF Bank Stadium.
(This used to be a parking lot. Now all parkers must leave their cars in Hudson, WI)
Before I forget, Minneapolis has these old, 1960/70ish highrise apartments situated just between downtown and the campus that are commonly referred to as the "Crack Stacks." It's a similar situation to where I envision Charlie from "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" living.
(The Crack Stacks... This is what they may look like inside)
The Father and Mother-In-Law picked us up at the Hilton at 8am and we made our way towards campus. Thanks to a legal loophole we were able to snag handicapped parking a block away from the stadium. We made our way to the McNamara Alumni Center where they host a tailgate party each week before the game. Food, drinks, and a polka band!!!!
(I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me...)
If the background looks familiar, it's because it should be. The polka guys are playing in the same place this video was filmed, seriously. So, that's a neat fact I like to share with people regarding Mpls. Now, good luck getting that song out of your head for the next 24 hours (Not necessarily a bad thing).
Since it was ball-shrinking cold out, we stayed inside for the better part of the pre-game festivities, which was fine. They have jumbotrons playing Gameday on ESPN and the food hits the spot. We did wander out at 9am for the Victory Walk. This is a newish thing they're doing now where 2 hours before kickoff the team, coaches, band, cheerleaders, etc walk through the street between everyone on their way to the stadium. It's actually pretty cool, although this guy apparently wasn't sure he wanted to be in my wife's photo:
(Dude, you're a celeb, don't look so suprised)
We finished our food, and made our way to the stadium. Thankfully, we juuuuuuuuuust beat the majority of the crowd getting in.
The wife and I walked around the concourse to take in the stadium. I really enjoy the concourse. It's wide as hell, which it needs to be, since the upper deck and main level are accessible from the single concourse in the building. Tons of food choices too, which is nice. Although the Big Pretzels are only sold in 3 sections and I was too lazy to go back and get one later when the time came. The bathrooms were also great. Like 100 urinals in each one so there's rarely a line. I wanted to take a picture as proof, but you should never whip out a camera in a bathroom, unless you have a small army of friends to protect you. Some notable things:
(Jumbo Scoreboard)
(Every seat between the goal lines has a seat back)
(There is a walkway/standing room area behind most of the upper deck)
(College boys with the gold paint already flaking off)
I was disappointed with the lack of the gold-out as had been planned that week. Pretty much anyone over the age of 35 just wore maroon or black or anything that kept them warm. That's fine, old people, but throw on a gold shirt over the top. Support your school, dammit.
The temperature was a solid 43 at kickoff with a light rain. And the student section was about as full as it was going to get. They attempted a card stunt late in the first where the students held up colored placards via instructions from the PA announcer. The first one was supposed to spell out "Beat the Badgers" (I think) but it didn't look great. The 2nd one turned out nicely.
(See, that's adequate)
The summary of the game is the same as any in the WI-Minnesota rivarly. Minnesota always finds a way to lose and it's always in some unique and quirky and awful way. (Remember this?... Yeah, didn't even phase me as a Minnesota fan. It was expected)
Right off the bat, the game was exciting to start, though, as it always is. 3 first quarter scores, including John Clay's first TD of the day and another Eric Decker highlight. The game slowed down in the 2nd, with both teams exchanging field goals and Minnesota headed into the half with a 13-10 lead. This, again, is nothing noteworthy. Minnesota traditionally has early control in these games only to piss it away late.
(Obligatory game photo. As the Ma-In-Law mentioned, it looks like Indian Corn)
Ok, before we advance, I have to warn you... This game every year really drains me. I always manage to feel miserable afterwards and this year was no different. You may read some shady language, you may hear some desperate cries for help, and you may see photos of a suicide attempt or 2. So, you've been warned.
Actually, I don't want to recount any more of the game than I have to. This game, this series, it all just pisses the shit out of me (property of Buzz Bissinger). Seriously, Minnesota never fucking blocks (5 sacks vs 0 this game, including Weber being murdered on 5 straight pass attempts to end the game), always makes moronic mistakes (9 penalties... NINE!!!), can only either pass or run in any given game, not both (2.0 rushing yards per carry in this one). It's the same thing every year. 6 straight years they've lost this fucking game and something like 10 out of 12. If you want to grow as a program, if you want to gain prestige, if you don't want to continue to be a goddamn C-squad in the Big Ten, you need to win one of these god-forsaken games. And don't get me started on the bullshit move of WI running through the Gopher squad/band while MN was doing their post-game "alma mater" song thing. Classless and bullshit. My full mood on the entire game can be heard here (NSLanguageFW).
Listen, I like Wisconsin. I will be back cheering balls to the walls for them again this week. But I cannot handle this beatdown that my Alma Mater takes year after year. It's beyond frustrating. Far beyond. Every year after this game I am in a terrible mood for hours, even though I am intelligent and mature enough as a sports fan to know to just move on. But this game sticks with me every year....
So all that said, I'm announcing here that I'm taking next year off from this game. I'm going to stay as far away from the Minnesota-WI game as I can. I'll still pay attention, maybe watch it casually on TV, but for the most part, I need a break. So, yeah. Next year, I'm out.
There's probably another 5000 words worth of stories and observations from the weekend, but just thinking about the game again has ruined my mood for writing. I need to wash my hands of this game and get away from it asap. Fuck this shit.
Next scheduled game: ohio state @ Purdue October 17. Maybe a suprise posting or 2 before that, though. I need a nap.
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