Running Journal: Oregon State Beavers vs Oregon Ducks

Pregame (7:45) --- So, my preseason Pac 10 pick was the Beavers of Oregon State.  I liked the returning parts and I like 'Quizz Rodgers at RB because he reminds me so much of myself (fast, tiny, and black).  When it became apparent a couple weeks ago that this game would be for all the marbles and a trip to the Rose Bowl, I was giddy.  What I was not so giddy about?  Having to wait an extra week for the game.  It's like waiting for the Super Bowl.  I really have no idea why I'm so excited for this game other than my pre-season pick of the Beavers, but I am.  Really, really excited.  I woke up this morning and LITERALLY the first thing that popped into my head was "Who runs for more yards tonight, Quizz or LaMichael James of Oregon?"  I have a problem.

We're about 10 minutes from kickoff and I'm killing time before the start by doing an analysis in one of my fantasy football leagues about how many points each team has left on the bench each week.  I bought myself a new Excel program for Christmas and could not wait to break it in.  I'm a total stat geek and Excel only acts as an enabler.  It's sad, really.  I'm in the wrong field.  Healthcare... pffffff.  Anyone hiring in the field of "unnecessarily detailed shit?"  Oh, that's why I have this blog.

It's a good night to have the 3-tv setup.  I'm going with the Ducks/Beavers on the jumbotron HD.  I'd love to have the Jets/Bills game on TV2, but that only gets basic cable and cannot get the NFL network.  I may have to jump back and forth.  Michigan State vs North Carolina in the Women's Big Ten-ACC Challenge gets TV2 rights now.  And thank Jah for DVR, so I can watch my Thursday lineup at my leisure over the coming days.

7:53- Might have to crack a beer or 2 for this one.  We've got many varieties still leftover from the group tailgate at the Northwestern/Wisconsin game a couple weeks ago, so I can mix and match Busch Light, some Polish beer, and some other crap.  And don't worry, I still intend to fire off a post at some point about the chaos that day.  No names will be revealed, though.  I'm no turncoat.  I realize people have jobs and careers that need protecting.

7:55- Yes, Jesse Palmer on color tonight.  Gotta love a Canadian.  Oh yeah, he's Canadian.  You may not have known that.  But now that you know that, every time he opens his mouth, you're going to hear that accent.  Muahahaha.

7:59- Pee out of the way.  Fat Tire is the beer to start it off.

8:00- I've got a 3-way parlay down tonight.  Oregon State +9.5, Over 62.5, and Arkansas State -6 @ Western Kentucky.  Yes, I put money on Arkansas State vs Western Kentucky.  Say what you like, I can take it.  But I'll be rolling in the money afterwards and you won't.  Not everyone has the balls to put down $2 on that game.

8:01- Official prediction is Oregon State taking it 41-37.  Go Beavers!

8:01- Mike Reilly is one of the nicest coaches in the world.  What a polite man .... also, Arkansas State is down 17-3 to winless Western Kentucky.  Well played, Hoigaard.

8:02- Short kick for the Beavs to start, crappy Ducks return + some yards for a late hit by a Duck.  Can't do that, son.  Well, you can, but ask Legarette Blount how that works out.

8:03- "You can't quit on LaMichael James" ~Chris Fowler.... you can when he only gains 1 yard.

8:04- INTERCEPTION!!! Ideal start for the Beavs.  Great field position.  Palmer compares Masoli to a young Brett Favre.  Good luck with that tonight, Oregon.  Brett Favre + Big game = multiple INTs.

8:05- Shot of Masoli wearing eye black that would make the WWF Road Warriors jealous.  Call me crazy, but I'm not a fan of QBs rocking too much eye black.  That's reserved for linebackers.  Know your role, kid.

8:06- Mark Mangino won't be back next season apparently.  Sadly, the person most impacted by this is:

(Baby Mangino, you will always be in our hearts)

8:08- Third and goal for the Beavers.  Great sign in the crowd "Wait til you see my O." Gotta give the Ducks fan props for that..... Pass is just short of the goal line and we're 4th and goal from the nano-inch line.

8:09- Going for it......Quizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz TD.  Go Beavers.   And their 10-person band plays their school song that I recognize 0% of.

8:10- If my dog decides that she has to go outside during any point for the first or second half, she will be taken to a shelter tomorrow and given up for adoption.  You will go outside during halftime and LIKE IT!... unless these farts continue.  I can't take that kind of torture.

8:11- I'm over the 2 guys tailgating commercials for Allstate Insurance.  Drew needs to go back to showing the ladies his O-face.

8:13- Ducks with the ball back, nice fake pass and run by Masoli that probably breaks for 30 yards 9 out of 10 times.  Nice shoestring tackle brings him down.

8:14- Big gain on an end around.  Loving the Over bet right now.  Free money.....  Not free money?  Arkansas State -6 @ Western Kentucky.  That'll teach me to bet on shitty football.

8:15- And after 4 plays the Ducks are knocking on the door.  Seems reasonable...... Another big gain on a pass over the middle to Jeff Maehl who was covered by the Beavs as if he was a creepy old guy (nobody wanted to go within 15 miles of him).

8:16- Nothing against the guy, but I don't think I've ever watched a Craig James-announced game and thought to myself after he said something "Hmmm, good point."

8:17- Third and goal, TD for LaMichael James.  Making big bro LeBron proud. (*Note, not actually true).... extra point is good and we are all tied up.  Very exciting.

8:19- Howie Long can make all the commercials he wants, but nothing will top this one with the girl pointing at his special spot saying "That's a big girl car."  Awk-waaaaard.

8:21- Sean Canfield, you throw like Matt Leinart, but I like you.

8:22- Love me some Jesse Palmer Canadian accent.  You hear it, don't you?..... Canfield continues to rock rough and tough with his afro puffs.

8:23- Not sure how I like Fowler referring to Quizz as Quizz.  I mean, it's legit, but Fowler is... very white.

8:25- Beavers get stopped short (That's what she said) and attempt a 40 yd FG, and it's good.  State up 10-7, still early.

8:26- I wish Chevy had informed me that Howie Long would be taking over every commercial break.  I would have kept count for fun.

8:27- Anyone else kinda wish they were the actor in the insurance commercial where the guy tricks kids into thinking they are getting something cool (bike, pony, etc), and then not letting them use it?

8:28- Erin Andrews actually giving a salient point.  Chip Kelly wants Oregon to move faster on the offense.  Coming off an 80-yard, 3-minute drive?.... Seems reasonable.

8:29- Third and long for the Ducks.  Big play coming up..... woooooooo boy.  Long TD on a CB getting embarassed.  And the Ducks jump back out ahead on a 73-yard TD.   Holy balls.  This game is everything I've been anxious for.  Seriously, holy balls.  What a game.

8:32- Cincinnati does not interest me.  I do not want to see them in the title game.  Enough said.

8:33- Arkansas State down 20-10 with 9 minutes to go.  I really know how to pick 'em.  New rule: Don't bet on a team where you couldn't name the team nicknames without looking it up.  Arkansas State... Red something?  Wait, Red Wolves.  Duh.  OK, I was within my rights to pick them.

8:35- Least suprising news in the world: UW-Whitewater and Mount Union are both in the D3 Quarterfinals .... for what seems like the 19th straight year.

8:36- We have a double-jump catch!!!! It doesn't just happen in Tecmo Super Bowl!

8:37- Johnny Hekker, the Beaver punter, is the scariest looking human being in the stadium.  Children of the Corn crossed with Problem Child.  His headshot staring straight into the camera can make you go blind.

8:38- Nice punt, kid.  You had 2 chances to get it right and could still only max out at 15 yards.  15??? It kills me when punters have kicks go off the side of their feet.  How hard is punting?  Really.  How hard?

8:39- Craig James, don't say "jitterbug."  That's reserved for George Michael.

8:40- The reason this is such a good game isn't just the great scoring.  We're seemingly going from great defensive plays and tackles to huge offensive gains every other play for both teams.  That's what makes a great game.  When, despite the score, both units are making plays.  My excitement for this game is completely legitimized now.

8:41- Read an article this week that some kid in Taiwan actually "beat" World of Warcraft.... There's a less than 1% chance his penis has ever been touched.  Including on his own.

8:43- It's also games like this that make me furious that the Big Ten ends their season so early.  Late-season football is great and the tension is so high.  Why would you want to end that early?  Foolish..... (*Note- the opinions and statements made by me do not necessarily reflect those of my family)

8:45- Early favorite for Mangino's next job?  A talk show with Rick Majerus.

8:46- The headsets on the ref bugs me.  He looks like he should be taking customer service phone calls for Dell computers.

8:47- Game has slowed down a tad.  Do the teams have each other figured out?  Of course, with each of these teams, their next score is only 8 seconds away.

8:48- Arkansas State within 3 now, with 5 minutes left.  Giddyup..... Also, Erin Andrews cannot pronounce "Decibel."  Is she still necessary?  Are any of them?  Injury updates and sideline notes are fine, but I don't need mini-feature stories/reports during the game.  Save those for the Olympics when the moms watch and become sports fans for 2 weeks.

8:49- Westwood College: The Diploma Mill For Those Who Have Zero Goals.

8:51- Oregon gained 697 yards last year?  Seriously, half that is respectable in any given game.  697?  That puts video games to shame.

8:52- Great 3 and out for the Beavs.  Best stand of the game.  Really got to put some yards together on this next drive, though.  They've been shut down their last few possessions.  Even if they don't get points, they've got to flip the field position game over.

8:53- Luke Wilson obviously gaining weight for his next role....

8:54- Michigan State women are in control over #4 North Carolina.  That's huge.  Almost as huge as their star Alyssa DeHaan:

(She's awesome)

8:56- Ok, the officiating is starting to sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightly favor Oregon.  Slightly.  It's early, so I'm not saying anything big yet, but.... I'm getting nervous.

8:57- 2nd and 25 after the big penalty ..... Monster shake and bake run by Quizz.... why not????  And a flag at the end for good measure.  This one coming back, zebras?

8:58- Apparently ESPN mistook a Duck helmet for a flag.  It happens, I guess..... But then they get antsy in their pantsy and call a false start on the Beavs anyways.  Can't come easy for State.  At least they're in striking distance.  First and 15 from the 20.  Gotta get points here.

8:59- Canfield completes it to a white receiver.  That's all I got.

9:00- 3rd and 6 ... incomplete.  FG attempt here.  Gotta get points.

9:01- Kahut from 28... got it.  Pulls the Beavers closer (that's what she said).

9:03- Holy balls, Arkansas State has a 4 pt lead with 2:30 to go, and they have the ball!  Could those Red Sacks (Wolves) actually pull off the 6pt cover???? (If not, all they need to do is win.  I hedged the bet with a teaser.  It's what I do.  That's why I'm so good at gambling.  I should be banned due to breaking Bodog with my plethora of $2-$5 bets.

9:04- The scoring continues as the Ducks take the kickoff 95 yards to the house........ which will not count.  Penalty(ies) on the Ducks.  Poor fellas.  Can't hold, boys.  Especially twice.

9:05- "It's a full moon tonight, so anything can happen on plays." ~Craig James .... Just shut the hell up.  You're adding nothing.

9:06- Fumble.... Beavers fall on it deeeeeeeep in Ducks territory.  Nice swat by 54 to force the fumble.  Very impressive.

9:07- And Arkansas State wins 24-20.  No cover, but I'll take the win.  Teasers are so easy.

9:08- Oregon State's best defensive player is a mix between Andrew WK and former Illinois linebacker J Leman.  Look 'em up.  It's true.  Science.

9:09- Quizz gets stuffed for nothing and forces a 4th down.  Another field goal by the Beavers puts them up 16-14 with still 4+ minutes left in the first half.  Very exciting.

9:10- I'm not heartless (debatable), but the State Farm insurance commercial showing people with cancer and soldiers hurt and everything with the kid singing "I'll Be There" in the background... the kid sings the wrong lyrics, right?  I'm not crazy am I?  It's "You and I must make a pact."  He sings "You and I must make a pack."  It's quite obvious too.  Have I had the lyrics wrong all these years?  I mean, I'm not an idiot (again, debatable).

9:12- Masoli with a nice designed run for 15 yards.  Fun game.

9:13- Masoli with another run for 3ish.  It's a good thing he can run, because relying a 5'10" qb to throw all the time is asking quite a bit.  Unless you're in the Big 12.  Then you can get away with it with ease (Chase Daniels, Todd Reesing, others).

9:14- Masoli with a completion and just like that the Ducks are back in striking distance.  Again, fun game.

9:15- Fowler shows off his announcing skills by covering his own mistake on who kept a tailback option.  That's how you make your money, folks.

9:16- I had no idea these 2 teams were the top 2 teams for scoring in the Redzone.  Good tidbit, ESPN.  Occasionally you give us things worthwhile.

9:18- Just under a minute and a half to go, Ducks on 2nd and goal and LeBron's brother scores again.  Ducks jump back on top 21-16.  Can Oregon State come down the field with a minute and change?  I hope so.  I actually think we're going to see another score this half.  If it's not State, I can see Oregon getting it back and throwing up a late score.  Again, to the point of a cliche, fun game.

9:21- And on first down, Canfield goes Waaaaaaay deep to James Rodgers and draws the pass interference.

9:23- Leafs throw up 6 goals on the road @ Columbus.  Wow.  Thanks for doing that in Chicago a few weeks ago.... hosers.

9:24- Quizz gets out of bounds to make it 3rd and 5 with :51 left.... come on Beavers (that's what she said)

9:24- Canfield to Quizz's brother James for the first down .... Another completed pass to the tight end with 29 seconds left and finally call their first timeout.  Great drive.  They should get some points out of this to pad both the cover and the Over.  Oh, and keep them within striking range of actually winning this game and going to the Rose Bowl.... like I predicted.... in August.  Bitches.

9:25- If the Beavers get another false start call I'm going to scream.  That's 3 this half.  Jesus guys.  I know it's loud, but at this stage of the game, just make sure you get the play off.

9:26- Turns out if was a frosh, all is forgiven.... Canfield escapes a sack, completes a wobbly pass to Brady Camp and he turns it into a decent 10 yard gain and gets out of bounds.  Nice little scenario.

9:27- James Rodgers on the catch across the middle for a HUGE TD.  Great grab and pulled it in over the DB and trotted in the final 5 yards.  Awesome game.  Awesome.  23-21.  Awesome.  Very exciting.

9:29- Ducks FUMBLE the kick return, but recover.  Holy codpiece, that would have been monstrous if the Beavs recovered that one.  Ducks better sit on this one to end the half... And they won't.  HB shotgun trap to the right, out of bounds..... Same play on the next play and Lebron's brother nearly breaks it... wow.

9:31- We are at the half.  23-21, Beavers.  And it's time to pee.

9:34- Here's your halftime show.

9:41- More halftime entertainment.

9:43- Ok, last bit of halftime entertainment.  One of my all-time favorites.  These quotes still come out at least once a night when I'm drunk.

9:45- "Can the Florida defense slow down Alabama wide receiver Julio Jones?".......... Yes.

9:45- Taylor Lautner asked Dr. Lou a question about Rich Rodriguez... Please.  ESPN.... stop this.  No New Moon fans are watching this game, let alone this halftime show.  There is no reason to pander to that fanbase. Just, stop the cross-promotion.  I realize I'm beating a dead horse here and I'm like the last blog in the world to complain about this, but come on.  Lou Holtz, Taylor Lautner, and Magic Johnson... sounds like the lead-off to a joke.

9:47- I will admit, though, I have a soft spot for Lou Holtz.  Guy cracks my shit up.

9:48- Longest........... halftime............ ever.

9:51- We're at 20 minutes......

9:52- Since we've got time to kill, here's my favorite college football-related photo ever:

(Badass)

9:53- And we're underway in half #2

9:53- Canfield starts where he left off: 10 yard completion to James Rodgers.

9:54- Another flag... false... fucking.... start.  This is getting funny.

9:55- Michigan State women take the game over #4 North Carolina.  Congrats Spartans.  Big win.  ACC takes the challenge 7-4, though.  Get'em next year.

9:56- Sexy throw and catch on 3rd and long for the first down.  The Beaver WRs are just beating the Ducks db's to every single ball and fighting all tie-ups away.  I'm not a big believer in "this team wants it more," but, right now, this team wants it more.  And they should.  First Rose Bowl berth since 1964 on the line here.

9:58- Canfield throws it right at a Duck lineman, who drops it.  Then the Beavs are rewarded with a late hit on the QB to get them down to the 27 yard line.  A TD on this drive would be massive.

9:59- Quizz absolutely cannot get tackled.  Remind me of myself, circa 8th grade.  I've videos if anyone needs proof.  Seriously, they're like 3 feet away from me.  I keep them near me at all times incase anyone ever wants to watch them.  Just ask.

10:00- The stroke of 10pm central.  From here on out, we are officially past my bedtime.

10:01- Canfield passes over the middle to a guy who catches his first TD of the season.  Big Beaver score (that's what she said)!!!!   We are now at 30-21, State.  Cover is looking like a lock and the over is in remarkable shape.  I love college football.

10:02- Eat my ass, Chris Berman.  You add nothing to nothing.

10:05- Monster tackle to take down the Ducks on their first play of the half.  Second play goes for a first down.  Gonna be more of the same in the 2nd half, I see.  Fine by me.  This is very exciting.

10:07- Lebron's brother puts together a couple of solid runs to get the Ducks down into Beaver territory.  Beaver defensive back Tim Clark of Compton, CA gets injured on the play ... hey kid, you're from Compton. A torn ACL is a blessing compared to what fate you could have seen growing up.

10:09- To keep you occupied during this injury timeout..... go Badgers.

10:11- Ok, that's a gruesome injury.  Almost on the level of this.

10:12- Hey Legarrette, welcome back.... carries for 3 yds.  Crowd takes 10 seconds to realize it's his first carry since the fight.  Hippies.  Too high to understand what's going on.

10:13- On one play the Beavers may have gotten away with both a late hit on the QB and a ticky-tack pass interference.  Both would have been questionable, but both could have been called.

10:14- Jeff Maehl with a remarkable catch while getting pummeled for a catch and a first down on a gutsy 4th down call.  Big play.

10:15- "How do you cramp up in 30 degrees?" ~Craig James .... Very easily, Craig.  Ever stood outdoors during a cold game for 3 hours? Lots of cramping. Imagine straining your muscles while playing it.  Jagoff.

10:16- Blount bowls over a defender like a pot of weeds.  (think about it)

10:17- Jesse Palmer refers to James/Blount as the "1-2 punch."  Not the best choice of words, ya hoser.

10:18- Blount goes in on a sweep for a touchdown.  Nice turnaround for Blount.  Tip of the cap. 30-28 State.

10:19- I see the Jets beat the Bills 19-13.... so sad I missed that one.  But thanks to the Bills organization for making the RB situation as clear as the 1999-2008 Broncos.  Basic crapshoot on who's getting the points there from week to week.  And yes, I'm bitter because I have both on one of my fantasy teams and have not started the correct one more than 50% of the time this season.

10:21- James Rodgers returns the kick all the way out to the 40 yard line.  Bigger return than the announcers are showing since the Beavs only have about 30 yards to go to be in FG range again.

10:22- James Rodgers catch on first down for 9 yards.  This offense is clicking..... Erin Andrews telling the story of a kids book Chip Kelly read to the team after the first loss.  He would have read them The Count of Monte Cristo, but none of them could have paid attention.  The 12-pager was more the college athlete's style.

10:23- James Rodgers was wide open and streaking down the field and Canfield juuuuuuuuuuuust missed him.

10:24- Offensive linemen holding hands weirds me out.  Not in a homophobic way, but in a "Um, really, why?" way.... if such a way exists.

10:25- Quizz with a nice catch and run on 3rd down to gain the first.  Canfield is such a stud right now.  Doesn't throw that ball until it's absolutely necessary.  Balls of steel right now.  He has marbles. (would link to a clip from Major League 2's reference to "marbles" but cannot find one.... gotta move quick here)

10:26- And Canfield finally gets hit while throwing for seemingly the first time in the game.

10:27- Another 3rd down.... And another holy-mother-in-heaven-humping-a-lamb false start.  This is ridiculous.

10:28- State finally misses on a 3rd down to bring on the field goal unit.

10:29- Kahut attempting to go 4-4, this would be his longest (45 yards).... monster kick.  Well done, son.  33-28 Beavers.

10:30- "What a good football game." ~Craig James (said in a manner which he believes he is the first person to realize this)..... Thanks for that, Craig.

10:31- "Sub him out, give him a blow." ~Craig James.... hehehehehehehehehehehehhe

10:32- I love the QB sweep/WR option.  Fun play.

10:33- Lebron's brother is having a game.  Takes a sweep around the left and gets past the first wall at the line of scrimmage to find ... nobody else.  And he's gone for 52 yards and his third TD.

10:34- Ducks go for 2 and fail on an option.  Good open-field tackle by the Beavs.  1 minute and change left in the third and we're at 34-33, Ducks.  And we've hit the OVER!!!!  Free money, Vegas.  You can't just hand us free money like that.

10:35- Beavers get the ball back and are sacked on first down.  Ducks have gotten to Canfield on the last few plays.  Gotta make some adjustments, Coach Reilly.

10:36- Third and 18 ... nothing going and Canfield runs for a couple yards before folding into the fetal position.  At the end of the third we're sitting at 34-33, Ducks, and they'll be getting the ball to start the 4th.

10:39- Am I missing anything by never having seen either of the "Night At the Museum" movies?  I lean towards no.

10:40- Don't fuck this up Ginger kid..... short kick.  Go back to the cornfields, Hekker.

10:41- Gonna predict a field goal on this drive.  'Bron's Bro runs for 5 on a play that had no room from the start.

10:42- The Ducks are up to nearly 140 yards rushing this half.  Well, that happened fast.... also happening fast, the Ducks getting into Beaver territory.  Beavers give up an enormous hole (that's what she said... courtesy of the wife) for the Ducks to run through and gain big.

10:43- Jeff Maehl with a catch and move and run.  Nice work.  Tip of the cap.  First and 10 now on the 11.

10:44- Masoli goes nowhere on first down.... Blount gets the carry on 2nd down and takes it down to the 7, bringing up 3rd down.  My field goal call is looking good.

10:45- Masoli dodges about 50 guys and loses 4 yards.  4th down and we're looking at a field goal.  I am so in tune with this game right now.  A complete 6th sense.

10:46- 29 yard field goal gets stopped just as the ball is snapped due to a delay of game and he'll now be forced to nail it from 34 yards... daunting.

10:47- Just ekes through the left upright and Oregon pads the lead to 37-33.

10:48- Might as well pee again.

10:49- I washed my hands, don't worry.  Wouldn't want to give myself SARS... er, wait.  What's the in vogue  illness right now?  Oh, swine flu.  Yeah, I'm fine.

10:50- Oregon's scored on all 3 drives in the 2nd half.  That's got to stop if the Beavs are gonna pull this one off (that's what she said).  Quizz takes the carry on first down and basically crawls for 15 yards.  Great run.

10:51- 9 to play..... very exciting.

10:52- You can see the breath of the players.  Kinda weird to see that during a Pac 10 game.

10:53- James Rodgers makes a GREAT diving catch and gets interfered with in the process for a mammoth gain.  Wow.  That's a huge play to put the Beavs down to the 22 yard line of Oregon.

10:54- State calls a too-conservative-for-my-tastes play on 2nd down.  Simple screen to Quizz where he had 2 guys on him immediately.

10:55- And that's why I didn't like the last playcall... Sacked on 3rd and 8.  And State's forced to go for it on 4th and 15.

10:56- Seriously Berman, go away.  Die even. Keep eating at Applebees and you just might.

10:56- And this goes without saying, but still, this is a very large 4th down.  The way the Ducks are moving this half, you have to assume at least a field goal out of them on their next drive, especially if they're getting the ball near their own 40.  What to call here on 4th and 15?... Maybe some sort of pick play for James Rodgers?  Although, he's made his money be streaking down the field tonight.  I just don't know.  But hopefully Reilly does.

10:57- Incomplete pass towards the sideline and Rodgers.  Just out of his reach.  And the Ducks get the ball back.

10:58- Palmer and Craig are arguing.  This is fun.

10:59- Run straight into the line on first down for the Ducks.... Are they trying to just kill the clock here?  Why slow down?  Keep doing what's working?  Chip Kelly is a gambler, I expect something big coming here still..... And Blount takes a carry up the gut for big, big yards.  All the way into the Beavers' territory on a 30-yard gain.

11:00- Shot of Tim Clark on the sideline in a wheelchair.... Yeah, gruesome injury.

11:01- The snap nearly went about 30 yards into the backfield, followed by Masoli forcing a throw and almost throwing a pick.  2 major bullets dodged there.

11:02- Blount gets stuffed up the middle on 3rd down.  Big call here by Chipchip.

11:03- And Chipchip's gonna take a timeout to talk things over.  Good move.  3:29 to go, 4 pt game.... Very exciting.

11:04- The creepy commercial where the female car talks to the guy after he goes to Jared for jewelry.  Why the guy doesn't just tell the car to shut up is beyond me.  Turn the key off even.  Or hand it to a homeless guy as a gift.  It's obviously not worth it if she's nagging you.

11:05- And the offense is on the field.... here we go 4th and 3.... Masoli runs right on a broken play, meets a defensive back head on.... and wins.  That's the play you're going to see on the highlights of this game.  Big play.  Congrats J.

11:06- Blount gets tackled for a loss.  The Beavers are sending everyone and their brothers into the backfield to prevent the runs.

11:07- Following an Erin Andrews story about Bron's Bro puking and feeling like he got kicked in the stomach by a mule (her words), he re-enters the game and Fowler says "Boot and rally."  Is this an ESPN term they use on campus there?  I've read books about their crazy parties.  Maybe this is the phrase of choice instead of the standard and simple "Puke and rally."  ESPN guys... they're so cool.  They invent their own phrases.

11:09- 3rd and 16 and the Beavers get Bron's Bro deep in the backfield but he wiggles out and ends up gaining about 13 to get back into field goal range.

11:10- 4th and 2, 1:43 to play.... Oregon timeout.  The debate in the booth is whether the Ducks go for it to ice it or take the FG and force the Beavs to score a TD in a minute and a half.... tough call.  I kick it.  I'm conservative like that.  Force them to score a TD.  Then you know you cannot lose in regulation.

11:11- They are going for it....and they get it on a fake halfback run, qb sprint left, wr option.  And the Ducks should be punching their tickets for Pasadena.

11:13- Final timeout for State. If I'm the Ducks, I maybe kneel it out and then kick a field goal on 4th, by which time there will be no time left.... knowing them, they'll run plays, score a TD and ruin the -9.5 spread.

11:14- QB keeper to the middle of the field.  Whew...... 2nd and 13, will be 40 seconds after the snap and that.... will..... do it.

11:15- All told, great game.  Fun, fun game.  It was everything I'd hoped it would be in the 2 weeks leading up to it.  A Beaver win would have been amazing, but a game this good, and it's tough to complain.  We'll see Oregon vs ohio state in the Rose Bowl and if I had to guess on the opening line?... Let's say.... it opens at Oregon -4.5.

11:17- Fans rush the field, and that'll do it.  It's past my bedtime.  Goodnight.

A Pretty, Pretty Good Weekend.

How good?.... Pretty good.

This was a weekend I had been looking forward to since summer-ish.  Or earlier.  I lost track because I was so excited for it.  2 big things were in play here: My first time seeing the Toronto Maple Leafs in person and the last UW home football game of the season.  Also, they were playing Michigan so it was the last team I needed to see on my tour of Big Ten teams this fall.  Also, in the last couple weeks the wife and I decided to invite each of our families to go to the UW-Alaska Anchorage hockey game that Saturday night.  So, yeah, lots to gnaw on.  Let's get to it.

The shitty thing about this weekend of excellence was that the Leafs game had a 7:30 puck drop in Chicago and the football game had an 11 am kickoff in Madison.  Not a lot of wiggle room in there.  You may say, "But Hoigaard, really, how early do you have to be in Madison the next day for the game?"  Answer?  Early.  And that's the end of that conversation.  But we had a plan to do hockey Friday night, come home and sleep, then hit the road at 5am Saturday.  Yes, that's early and it sucks, but if nothing else it gives me a great excuse to get my Venti Non-Fat Carmel Latte from Starbucks.

Sporting my 2XL, blue, "classic-style" leafs jersey and my rundown 10-year old Leafs cap, the wife and I took off for the United Center at 5:45 to deal with the 1 hour drive to go 14 miles in Chicago rush hour traffic and enjoy the game with Stuttering Danny and his fiance. *Note, I am nowhere close to a 2XL, but I got it at a price.... Still, it looks like I'm about 14 years old when I wear the thing and don't have a 5-o'clock shadow on my face.  The cap, I realized during the game, I got almost exactly 10 years ago during my frosh year of college when Dante, Chi, and Stuttering Danny came to Minnesota to pay me a visit.  I got the cap at a clearance sale @ a store in the Mall of America and I've been wearing it ever since.  It's probably my most-worn hat I own.  Rough guess?  I'd say I've probably worn it 1,000 times since I bought it.  Another rough guess?  I'd say I've probably washed it once since I bought it.  That's love.

(Rough shot of what the blue jersey looks like.  Not exact, but you get the gist.  Tim Gunn would be a fool to criticize that runway-worth piece)

As the wife and I waited outside the United Center for the other 2 in our group, I was happy and amazed by how many Leafs fans were at the game.  I felt so at home knowing my Canadian brethren would be loud and proud with me at this game outside the native land (*Note: I am not actually Canadian).  Very warm feeling for my first game.

This is probably a good time to answer the universal question: "Leafs fan?  Why?"  That's probably in the top 10% of all recurring questions asked of me.  Even close friends who've known me for years and years and who have had the story explained to them already before will still pause and be like "Wait, you're a Leafs fan? How did that happen?"  The basic short version is that my senior year of high school, my dad was essentially given 2 options at his company which was going through a bit of a financial tizzy: Either take a lay-off and be on your way, or take a transfer to Toronto and when it's reasonable and things settle themselves back out, we will bring you back to the states.  However, there is absolutely zero time frame for this, and you may end up in Canada forever.  Not wanting to let down the family, my pops took the transfer to Toronto at the start of my last year of high school.  My mom and brothers and I took a visit up to see him for a weekend in October of that year and while up there, it really hit me that, yes, even though I would soon be graduating and moving away from the family anyways, there's a real distinct possibility that Toronto would be the new place I would visit if I wanted to see my family in the future.  And then I told myself, "Well, let's just dive right into this thing head-first."  Luckily, I fell in love with the city that trip so it didn't leave a bad taste in my mouth, and the Leafs were the big thing I took back to the states with me.  And I've been a fan ever since.  Go Leafs Go.

As we got into the UC, I was mother-humping starving.  And since I had a shitty day at work trying to explain to old foreign women how to save something as a "favorite" on Internet Explorer (I'm seething just thinking about this again), I treated myself to a pretzel and a beer.  Let me let you in on a little secret: On my travels so far, the United Center has far and away the best food.  The pretzel was hot and perfectly salted (not too much, but yet, not barren).  The wife got nachos which packed a mighty crunch and became addicting to eat and I ended up putting down half of her allotment.  And the hot dogs there.  My God, the hot dogs.  They aren't any more expensive than at any other venue, but these are thick and juicy, and actually HOT.  So good.    If you ever find yourself at an event at the United Center in Chicago, do yourself a favor and just eat like you're a malnourished Ethiopian toddler.

Oh, and incase you're curious, the last time I was the United Center was for this.  The wife's a fan, and I enjoy doing things that she likes that in turn make her want to reward me with sex.  So sue me.

(That's Ryne Sandberg doing the traditional puck-drop. Cubs fan Stuttering Danny excused himself shortly afterwards and disappeared for about 10 minutes.  I hope he cleaned up afterwards)

One thing that disappoints me is the Blackhawks intro video was actually so damn cool that I wanted to be able to link to it and show the world, or at least watch it at my own leisure.  But for some reason, few (if any) teams (across all sports genres) post their intro videos to their games anywhere online.  I find this shocking.  In the age of new media and twitter and youtube and facebook clubs for teams, etc, how can you not put your video up?  Intro videos actually get quite a bit of buzz after they're shown amongst fans: "Wow, that was cool.  Did you see that? What part did you like?"  Post them, teams.  If you post them, they will watch.  But for point of reference, here was their 2008-2009 video.

(Cool points to the 'Hawks for keeping a spotlight on their championship banners during the intro videos and player intros.  It's very classy and cool.  It's a nice tip of the cap to the team's history, without clinging to it during every waking and breathing moment.... see: Milwaukee Brewers, 1982 team or Chicago Bears, 1986 team as prime examples)

One of everyone's favorite parts of the Blackhawks experience @ the United Center is the National Anthems.  A tradition there is to cheer loudly, non-stop through the US anthem.  Very cool to see.  It was at its best during the Winter Classic in January @ Wrigley Field.  Cheering, a fighter-jet flyover, snow.  Cool stuff.  But me being me, I loved "Oh, Canada" on this night.  One of the first things I did after really becoming a Leafs fan was to learn the words to "Oh, Canada."  Even though the "Oh, Canada" is played at sporting events (notably, NHL games), when you have such a large number of Canadians in attendance cheering and singing along, it's really cool and overwhelming.

("The true north strong and freeeee....."

("Oh, Canada we stand on guard for theeeeee.")

(To watch the segue from the Canadian to the US anthem)

Our seats had wait service and a great view of the ice.  Pretty good seats.  Pretty, pretty good.  The wife did a marvelous job.

(Lovely seats)

This season has been a massive disappointment so far for the Leafs.  They lost their first 8 friggin' games of the season and entered the game in dead last in the Eastern Conference.  Everyone realized this was a rebuilding year for the Leafs, but we were hoping it wouldn't be a death march, either.  The Leafs made a major trade in the offseason, mortgaging some future to bring in Phil Kessel, which I loved.  Kessel and I are sort of kindred souls.  Both from the greater Madison, WI area.  Both left town to go to the University of Minnesota.  Both are awesome professional athletes.  But, as good as he is, he is not my favorite Maple Leaf.  That would be Tomas Kaberle.

(Tomas Kaberle and the 'Hawks Patrick Kane.  Kane is remarkably good and flashy.  He most reminds me of the kid from D2: The Mighty Ducks who was from Texas and could dribble the puck with his stick and do all sorts of tricks and maneuvers, etc.  When Kane gets moving in the open ice, you will rarely see him lose possession on a poke or anything like that.)

I do like where the Leafs are headed, though.  Besides Kaberle and Kessel, I love their new goalie import Jonas "The Monster" Gustavsson, as well as my soon-to-be favorite player Viktor Stalberg when he finally gets to the big club and sees some steady playing time.  The plan is in place for this Leafs team.  The short-term is frustrating, though.

(NHL 94/95 for Sega, anyone?)

Oh, and to answer the question of 99.5% of the world's population: Yes, the term "Maple Leafs" is correct.  They are not named after the actual leaves that fall from maple trees, but rather: "The Maple Leafs say that the name was chosen in honour of the Maple Leaf Regiment from World War I. As the regiment is a proper noun, its plural is formed by adding a simple 's' creating Maple Leafs (not *Maple Leaves)." (Tip of the cap to Wikipedia for simplifying the story). 

The game got off to a quick start, with the Kane scoring unassisted on a monster slapshot just over 3 minutes into the game.  That prompted the Blackhawks' goal-scoring music, which is actually cool.  Since in my downtime of not watching the Leafs, I happen to follow the 'Hawks closely, I'm used to it and it didn't annoy me like it likely annoys most opposing fans.  But, I can be an unbiased observer and admit that, yes, I can see how it would make one spew hatred towards a team if you heard that song over and over and over again....


Which is where the game looked like it was going early on.  The Blackhawks got 2 goals in the first and scored 5 minutes into the 2nd for a 3-0 lead.  By this point I had gone from wanting the Leafs to win my first game to see them play, to rather just please for the love of Mats Sundin let the Leafs score a damn goal.  Luckily, Phil Kessel heard my internal wailings and put Toronto on the board with just over 2 minutes remaining in the 2nd and we headed to the 3rd period with a 3-1 game.


During the 2nd intermission, the 'Hawks always have some select fans come down, along with some sort of local or national celebrity to do a skills challenge shot-on-goal thing.  The celebrity for the night was Ravi Baichwal, who happens to be a news anchor for the ABC affiliate here in Chicago.  And, as it were, a native Canadian.  Stand on guard, brother, stand on guard.  The general template for how the 'Hawks pick their shooters for this is: Celebrity, a young boy, 2 white dads, and an attractive young woman wearing not nearly enough clothes to keep warm on the ice and nothing that shows any sort of team support.  Nobody made their shots, so the intermission was not all that exciting. 

(Ravi.  I'm proud to know him as a Canadian, but I'll always remember him better for this....)

Kessel put up another goal 5 and a half minutes into the third period to pull the score to 3-2, but the Leafs could never quite put another threat together and tie the score.  The final period was completely dominated by Toronto, but they could only muster 1 goal out of it, and even when they pulled their goalie (euphemism!!!), they couldn't even muster up a shot on goal for the final minute and a half.  But the excitement of my first Leafs game and the fact that they made it pretty close kept me on the edge of my seat the entire third period.  Literally.  We had seats in the last row of our section so I could sit on the edge of my seat in its upright position (basically standing) and not bother anyone behind us.  It was very nice.  Couldn't ask for more out of my first experience.  Well, I could ask for more, actually.  The fuckers could have won.  But yeah, pretty good night.... Pretty, pretty good.

As a post-script, the stadium post-game was still filled with Leafs fans.  Just hanging out finishing their beers, cheering for no reason, threatening to have intercourse with guys' mothers, swearing, talking in thick accents, etc.  It's what I felt like a county fair in Ottawa would be like, if there are county fairs in Canada.  Are there?  Seems like a reasonable question.

(Also, we saw a fight.)

Pre-blog intermission song for you.  I actually like this one better than Andrew Gold's original.  Mostly for the late near-acapella crescendo.
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After 4ish hours of sleep Friday night after the Leafs/'Hawks game, it was a rise-and-shine morning as we were heading up to Madison for an 11am kickoff for the game between the Badgers and the Michigan Wolverines.  Technically there was no "shine" in the rise and shine.  It's pitch black at 5am.  The wife took her time waking up and getting out of bed and getting ready and packing, but we still managed to make it out of the house at a decent time and get to Madison in plenty of time for festivities.  I should say this about the wife, though: when I say she took her time, it's not like she takes 2 hours to get ready or anything along those lines that you hear about so often with women and prepping, etc.  But, I can be up, showered, bags packed and loaded into the car in roughly 19 minutes start to finish if need be.  This is why I have the luxury of sleeping in longer than her.  Sometimes in the mornings I don't think her foggy brain grasps this concept that just because I'm still sleeping in, she can too.  Doesn't make me mad, just a husbandly observation.

We were quite possibly the first people in Starbucks that morning and luckily my favorite barista was mixing drinks that morning.  I always pray I get her on my "Starbucks Fridays" on my way to work.  This prompted a discussion with the wife: Is it reasonable/ethical to request to have a specific barista make a drink for you?  Like, if my favorite coffee mixologist is working the counter taking money, am I within my right to request that she switch  spots with another employee so she can be the one to make my drink?  Or is that upsetting the workflow?  The wife worked in a coffee shop for many years and actually had no idea how to answer.  Anyone have thoughts on the matter?

With my Venti Non-Fat Carmel Latte in hand, we hit the road and made immaculate time.  Stopping only in Beloit, WI (not my hometown.... I'm better than that.  Yeah, I said it about Beloit.  It's such a hole) to gas up and drop the dog off with my dad so he could take her for the day, we made it to Madison in just a smidgen over 2 hours.

We had to wake up our group at Capto's house and get them fired up for some pre-gaming.  The wife carried my ass in beer pong that morning.  I just was not on.  I have my moments, but that morning was not one of them.  Beer pong is also not my best game.  Washers?  Yes, I can handle washers.  I am quite good.  And I can occasionally kick ass and take names in flipcup.  But beer pong?  Very hit and miss.  I blame my height. It's tough to get a good angle on the shots when you're so short.  All my throws inevitably come in flat and like line-drives.  No downward drop.  It's a tall man's game.  I'm nothing like these guys.  Pfffff, losers.  Go to class.

Our friend Creepy Kenny decided to make a fashion statement on this day. For some reason he thought it appropriate to wear women's jeans.  They may have been men's, but if they were, they were the most feminine jeans I've ever seen on a male.  And I have many metro/homosexual friends, so, ya know, I'm obviously an expert.  But yeah, he's single, ladies.  And you can double your wardrobe by dating him.  Oh, and the wife also did her first keg stand of her life during the festivities.  No photos will be displayed of that, though.  Sorry.  But she did well.  11ish whole seconds, which is the equivalent of beating a 3-year old in tennis.

We made the trek to Camp Randall Stadium, enjoying the reasonably nice weather.  I love how nice this autumn has been.  50's every day.  Pretty good.  Pretty, pretty, pretty good.  Upon entering the stadium, this was our view going to our seats:

(Nice)

(View from our actual seats.  It's nice having a wife who knows people)

Let me take this moment, before I forget, to provide a defense of Rich Rodriguez.  The guy is in his second season on the job.  His first year was a struggle because he was a late hire and did not have any of his players in place.  This year is his first year with a recruiting class and they're all going through the first year learning curve.  They started this year hot, which raised people's expectations too far.  If you give RichRod one more year, that should be sufficient.  Give him one more year, put the number at 8 regular season wins plus be competitive in a bowl game.  If he doesn't achieve those standards, then I would say a dismissal is justified.  But come on.  He has legit reasons for underachieving the last 2 years, and deserves one season to put all the pieces together.  I mean, come on.

(Say what you want about the guy, but he deserves a fair shake.)

The game was utter domination by the Wisconsin offense.  Michigan kept the game close through the first half, but the Wisconsin offense moved the ball at will throughout the game.  Scott Tolzien ended up with 5 tds on his own (4 passing, 1 rush) and John Clay was all like "Hey, you wanna stop me?  Stop this, cockbags!" And then he would start kicking ass and taking names Steven Seagal-style like in Under Siege (also starring Tommy Lee Jones, one of my guilty pleasure favorite actors). All in all, Wisconsin's performance this day was pretty good.  Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good.

(This is the closest I've ever been in proximity to anyone named Zoltan.  Top 1000 random observation in my life?  Top 1000 random observation in my life.)

If you've read my blog regularly (and I know all 14 of you have), you know my thoughts on how important an out-of-town scoreboard is to the fan experience, and Camp Randall has far and away the best one in any stadium I've been to.  It's well-located, clearly visible, constantly-updated, includes all pertinent teams, etc.  It's... just.... it's the bee's knees.

(Look at that beauty on the bottom of the main scoreboard.  Scores, out-of-conference teams, individual player performances... Thank you, UW.)

Our seats were actually right in the heart of Michigan's travel party, which was interesting.  I've never really had an issue with Michigan or their fans.  This year they were especially quiet and respectful, which may have had something to do with the fact that they were 5-5 coming into the game and facing 2 of the top teams in the conference to close out the season, thus likely missing out on a bowl game for the 2nd straight season, which hasn't happened seemingly since Lincoln freed the slaves.  But yeah, that'll kinda shut you up as a fan.

The great thing about close seats is being able to observe the minutiae of the sideline goings-on.  Things like:

 (Tate Forcier looking frustrated while warming up... and....)

(Zoltan Mesko doing weird, never-before-seen-in-North-America stretches... and...)

(Youngest NCAA Division 1 asst. coach in the history of the world, or some coach's tag-along kid?)

The guy next to us in our packed-in seats was some portly old dude from Cuba City, WI.  When the wife was away from the seat, we struck up a conversation.  He liked the fact that I was from Monroe and then chuckled about his wife shopping there all the time.  When I was away from the seats later, he asked the wife where the Wal-Mart was in Monroe.  If there's ever a question to sum up living in small-town Wisconsin, I think we've nailed it.... "Hey, where, uh, where is the Wal-Mart in Monroe, there?"

Late in the game I was heading out to take a piss and saw the Tuba section lining up in the concourse.  I love the Tuba march because it's just so simple and Tubas are fun to listen to.  And say.  Tuba.  Tuuuuuba.  Tubatubatuba.  Anyways, I snapped a photo without looking too closely at the time....

(In the middle, you'll notice a guy wearing a suit.  Apparently after I left they taped the words "Marry Me, Kayla" on the tubas.  As they marched around the stadium, each section they went to the crowd roared but you couldn't really tell why until they got near enough for you to read it.  When they finally got back down to the student section, they turned and faced them/the rest of the band and the crowd roared.  All of a sudden, the guy in the suit somehow made it all the way around to the back of the band's seats and ran down an aisle and proposed to who I assume is Kayla... eeeks, hope it was her.... and she said yes and everyone cheered and it was happy happy happyhappyhappy.  All told, I'll give credit.  Well done, Tuba guy.  That's clever, well thought-out, and came together perfectly.  As my sister-law-texted the wife, "That was so cute I want to puke."  Poignant.  And accurate.)

The game ended and we made our way to the in-laws' car for some post-game tailgating.  After some chatting and relaxing, we went out to dinner and then headed to the Kohl Center for the UW vs Alaska-Anchorage men's hockey game.

Song to get you through the 2nd intermission of the blog post.  Love this song.  Love it, love it, love it.  Those who know me know I have a weird soft spot for quirky songs that remind you of a roller-skating party in the 70's/early 80's (songs like Luscious Jackson's "Here," Paul Oakenfold's "Starry-Eyed Suprise," Fun Lovin' Criminals "Loco" or "Bump" or "Love Unlimited", Philosopher Kings "SuperSex 69" or "Hurts To Love You." etc.... Feel free to look those up and enjoy). This is the latest addition to my arsenal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Red Man!!!!.... can't go a whole weekend without seeing a spawn of Greenman(!) can we?  This guy had the character down, though.  His movements were impeccable.  Well done, guy)

The third and final leg of the weekend sporting triathlon was the UW/Alaska-Anchorage men's hockey game. The wife got 4 decent seats from people she knows and we gave those seats to each of our parents.  My mom has relatives who live in Anchorage and she's been there a few times and has gone to hockey games there, so she always enjoys seeing the Seawolves when they come to town.  The wife, her sister and I got some cheapie tickets for the upper tank and sat there to start the game.  Actually, despite the high level, the view was pretty good.

(Neat photo.  I'm proud of myself for this one)

Thankfully we moved down near the parents in the 2nd period because there were open seats there.  I've become a huuuuuge seat snob at sporting events in the last few years.  I just can't tolerate bad seats for a "regular" game.  If it's a huge marquee game, then I'm happy to just be in the building.  But if it's a standard game, I need nice seats to enjoy it.  Otherwise I'm just miserable. An incomplete list of things I'm snobby about?

1) Seats at a sporting event

2) Coffee/Coffee drinks

3) Pop Culture knowledge

4) Non-mainstream hiphop/rap music

(Ahhh... much better)

I liked the fact that during multiple intermissions of the hockey game they played Oasis' "The Shock of The Lightning," which most people remember from car commercials in recent months. I don't care what's become of the band or what people think of their work after "What's The Story....?," Oasis is badass.  End of story.  I will always be a fan and will always buy any music the Gallagher brothers produce.

The game itself was a massacre.  The Badgers won 6-2, but probably could have put up 10 if they had scored on power plays.  They went 0-8 on their power play attempts and still scored 6 goals.  Insane-o.  The old guy at hockey games who leads the "1-2-3, We want more!" cheers really got a workout Saturday night.  And everyone in the crowd won free ice cream from Culver's because the Badgers scored 5 goals.  Huzzah!  My parents went to the nearest Culver's post-game and said the line was about 30 cars deep.  I don't need ice cream that badly.  Unless it's cookies and cream for free.  In that case, I'd bike to Duluth, MN.

I also am always intrigued by the student section cheers at hockey games.  The UW student section does a pretty good job.  They maintain a steady chant during power plays, have a handful of one-off jeers they do at the opposing goalie and are actually pretty well-behaved.  But I think my time at Minnesota kicked the holy shit out of any other student sections.  I know everyone thinks that about their experiences being better than others, but I think this is true.  Like, WI says "Thank you" after the PA announcer says "1 minute remaining in the period."  But at Minnesota, we had a full-on dialogue with the PA guy.  With 1:02 remaining, we'd go "Hey Jamie, how much time's left?" and then he'd respond with "1 minute remaining in the period." And we'd say "Thank you, Jamie!" and then he'd respond to that in various ways:

"My pleasure."

"Anything for you guys."

"Just doing my job."

"You're just too kind."

Ya know, things like that.  Plus we had songs that we'd sing, other random cheers with the crowd like Min-ne-so-ta, and the student section was always "neeeeeeeee."  Sounds stupid, until you're drunk and surrounded by 4,000 other 21-year olds all screaming "neeeeeeeeee" in the deepest voice they can muster.  Plus @ Minnesota since there are multiple schools in the WCHA that play the Gophs each year, it's always fun to chant "Gopher Rejects" at them since they're going to smaller, shittier schools in Minnesota because they weren't good enough to go to the U.  Always classy.

The best part, though, of any UW hockey experience is the mini-hockey game that happens during the 2nd intermission.  They take 2 youth teams, usually in the 6-7 year-old age group, and let them go crazy on the ice.  In the past the action was set to "Linus and Lucy," which adds about 1,045, 947, 393 cool points to the experience.  This game (or year), they switched it to some shit-tastic dance music.  Not cool, UW.  Not cool.  There are few things more fun and relaxing than watching 20 6-year olds skate slowly after a puck and fall down, all set to Snoopy music.  Very disappointing to see that go.

(The mini-hockey kids)

(Inevitably during every mini-hockey game, the puck stays at one end for 96% of the time and one goalie ends up standing by himself for about 7 minutes.  But, also inevitably during every mini-hockey game, there is one breakaway for a kid and the crowd loses their minds as he skates towards the goal. During this game, the kid made the shot and everyone was happy.)

(Final line score from the game... eeeeeeeekkkkksssss...)

With about 3 minutes left in the game, the long couple of days really hit me.  I needed to sleep asap.  So after the game, we headed to my family's home, and I was asleep within 28 seconds of my head hitting the pillow.  All in all, a fun yet exhausting couple of days.

As a post-script, when I woke up on Sunday morning, I opened up the laptop, the a few bucks on a 4-team NFL parlay and then a couple more bucks on a 9-team NFL parlay, and didn't think much of it until 2:30 when I checked back in.  I hit my first 4-team parlay to win a cool $100.  A couple hours later I checked again and realized, "Holy MotherboyXXX, I just hit the first 8 games of this 9-teamer...." and then I blacked out for about 10 minutes.  I came to in time to call one of my friends to hedge my bet on the last game, which I'm glad I did, because the Colts didn't cover.  So I missed the big payoff from the parlay, but by hedging the bet, I was still able to make another $100 on the day.  Very exciting.  So, let that be the lasting lesson: Always hedge your bets.  Which is basically what the 2 Badger games were for my experience for the weekend.  Since the Leafs lost, the 2 UW games hedged the pain a little bit and turned the weekend into something pretty good.  Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good.

My Maiden Voyage to Bloomington, IN

I had 2 teams left to see on the Big Ten In-Person challenge: Indiana & Michigan.  As it worked out, I would see them back to back weekends against Wisconsin to kick off November.  With the wife and my buddy Stuttering Danny (*Note, Stuttering Danny does not actually stutter... except that one time) in tow, we made our way down on Friday night.

We stayed at the Ramada near the Indianapolis Airport on Friday night to cut the drive time down on Saturday morning.  The wife and I got a room and Danny booked his own room.  Problem was, Danny apparently never learned how to tell time, dates, etc because he had booked his room for a night in December.  Scary potential-rapist hotel clerk Larry asked if he'd be back to join them in December and Danny told them no.  Thankfully it all worked out and Danny actually got a rate lower than what he booked it for.  But scary potential-rapist hotel clerk Larry managed to still ruin his night by calling his room 10 minutes after he got in to make sure there was nobody else in the room already.  You'd think you'd have that information available to you when you assigned a room.... (post-script: Danny was not raped that night by hotel clerk Larry).

Memorial Stadium in Bloomington is relatively easy to find and access.  Less than an hour's drive from Indy and only a couple short turns once you reach the city, the stadium has plenty of available parking (it helps that only 9,000 people attend games... *Note: That number may not factually correct*).  We arrived in plenty of time to put down some pre-game drinks with a few of the wife's friends.  The tailgating scene at Memorial Stadium is rather cool.  They have gravel parking lots on one side of the stadium where we saw plenty of Wisconsin fans gathering and partying it up.  On the opposite side of the stadium, where we were, there are paved parking lots and a beautiful grassy, tree-filled area where fans tailgate.  It's really pleasant, for lack of a better, less-old-ladyish word:

(Photo 1.  Nice wide-range view... but there's plenty more than what's pictured)

(Photo 2.  See, doesn't this look like something you'd like to do on a weekly basis?... I would.  And all I care about is football and booze, but this still satisfies the hunger for... something.)

Some schools you'll find have one or 2 notable alumni that people are waaaaaay too fond of.  Like, there's an unnecessary amount of love and pride towards certain people.  Like, if you're talking to someone from that school, not 10 minutes will go by without them mentioning, "Hey, did you know _______ went to _____?  Yeah, pretty cool that he's/she's one of us."

Purdue has Neil Armstrong/Drew Brees.

Northwestern has Michael Wilbon and half of the famous actors in Hollywood.

Michigan has Tom Brady (and for a few weeks in the summer of 2008, they were proud to claim Michael Phelps as their own)

Illinois has Roger Ebert.

Michigan State has Magic Johnson (or Plaxico Burress, or Charles Rogers, or Tony Mandarich, I guess).

Indiana?.... Indiana has this:

(Little ditty, 'bout Promotions & Marketing.  2 Departments ... along with Media Re-la-tions.  Promotions gonna get, the fans in the seeeeattts.  Media Relations said "that's great Promos, now go beat your meat. ..... Oh yeah, life goes ooonnn, long after the thrill of livin' is gone.)

Of course, option 2 is this goof.

Ok, he probably counts too (I still absolutely love this and would love to have it as my alarm wake-up tone).

After putting down a 12-pack in an hour and a half or so, Danny and I started our walk towards the stadium. There was this section of corporate-sponsored tailgating festivities near the area where we were hanging out.  At one point I looked over out of the corner of my eye and go "Why is there a picture of Che Guevera on top of that tent?"  As we got closer, we realized it was the Geico caveman.  But, you be the judge:

Or.....

(Anyone else see the resemblance?  I'm not fucking crazy.  And I'm not a Cuban Revolutionary...)

The actual stadium itself is pretty nice.  They had some work done on it last off-season, updating the north endzone, and it shows.  It's got a quasi-NFL-style stadium feel to it in the north endzone.  Of course, I had never been there before and have nothing to use as a reference point, but all told, it's a very well put-together and friendly stadium.

(North endzone)

(Wider angle....and that's about all the fans you'd see in that area through the course of the day)

Indiana is obviously a basketball school, so to expect the place to be sold out on a regular basis is asking a lot.  You could have 10 straight years of an Antwaan Randle El / Vaughn Dunbar combo playing at their apex and you still probably wouldn't sell out more than once or twice a year.  It's just fact.  It's law.  It's life.

As is tradition for me, I try to sample a Big Pretzel at every game I go to.  Lately I've been sluffing off, but I managed to get one at Memorial Stadium, and take a look at this:

(Huge, huge pretzel.  Totally worth the $4ish.  The size and taste were epic.  No complaints there.  But the temperature left something to be desired.  I'm pretty sure they were cooked up the night before and then just left sitting in the 60 degree sun during the morning with the idea of "eh, it'll be warm enough.  Nobody will notice.")

Speaking of the weather, it was near 70 degrees during the day.  November 7.  In the Midwest.  It's a littttttle warmer than I like my weather (60, overcast, crisp 5-10mph wind = Hoigaard weather), but I'll take it.  Mother Nature, you are a wonderful, sassy tart.

Another cool thing about Memorial Stadium is a mini-football field in the South endzone where they just let kids run amuck during the game.  There are so many opportunities for balls flying on the field (they did), and stuff like this to happen.

(This was early in the game.  From mid-way through the first quarter until the end of regulation there were about 200 kids on the field at any given time.  Mass hysteria.  Lots of crying.  2 guns were confiscated.  A knife fight broke out at midfield)

(Before I forget, this is the infamous "Rock" that you hear Bill Lynch reference in these commercials)

Danny's pops hooked us up with some seats through the alumni association, so it was nice to be surrounded by Badger fans.  You don't often get that vibe at an away game.  In the section right next to us there was a group of college kids there on a drunken bus trip.  Which is great.  I encourage this.  College revelry and road-tripping, awesome.  But, when you're spending the entire 2nd half of a 3-pt game singing techno songs and dancing and not having any idea of what's going on, then you need to re-assess.  I mean, you can get retarded drunk at home.  Why spend the time and money to go to Bloomington to do it and then not pay any attention to the game?  Maybe I'm just old and crusty now.  Whatever.  I like to think you can balance complete belligerent booze consumption and basic understanding of game status.  Maybe I'm wrong and maybe the kids these days can only handle one at a time.  Eh, whatever.

Speaking of traveling to the game.  This group really puts my whole "See every Big Ten team this fall" thing to shame:

(Tip of the cap.  Well played)

Memorial Stadium also has a pretty good scoreboard, comparatively to the rest of the places I've seen.  They've got a replay board, all the pertinent information, and an up-to-the-second yardage breakdown, which I always like.  The only negative?  No out of town scoreboard.  People in positions of power at Universities, how many times do I have to say this?... In this day and age, there is no reason for a school to not have an out of town scoreboard.  Christ, even Northwestern has one, and they can only allow 20 people in the stadium to use the restroom at any given time.  All it takes is a small ribbon-board, put it above the top row of one of the endzones or corners, and then hire some over-eager student to plug scores in.  Not hard.  Real simple.  Do it.

(Said scoreboard)

Bucky looked good for a half.  The first half was utter domination.  UW had 300+ yards in the first 30 minutes and it looked like we'd all be back in the parking lot by mid-way through the 4th.  But the John Clay injury seemed to really mess with the UW gameplan in the 2nd half (yes Montee Ball played like a stud, but it was a different feel to the game in the 2nd, especially defensively), and IU chipped away and ended up with over 300 yards passing on their own, only losing by 3.  A couple players that really had me impressed when it was over were Chris Borland for UW (not the first time I've nodded my head in approval for him) and Tandon Doss for IU.  I can see Borland morphing into an Andy Katzenmoyer-type collegiate style player when all is said and done (say what you want about Katz's pro career, but he was the most feared college player in universe in his glory days at that shitty school which I will not mention).  Borland should be a pre-season All-Big Ten pick next season and then the sky's the limit from there.  He had an interception in this game that was giggle-worthy.  Very athletic play.  And Doss is just a sick receiver.  I've seen him on TV a couple times already, but seeing him live is really impressive.  He's got wheels, he's got great hands, seems to always be open (leads me to believe he's a good route-runner as well).  He's what A.Benn should be @ Illinois if anyone could throw him the ball.  See, you can be a productive WR on a shitty team.  You just need a QB who can throw half-respectably and a playbook that has more than Play 1: Deep Pass, Play 2: QB Scramble.  Indiana may struggle for the forseeable future, but damn if their offense isn't entertaining to watch when they're clicking.  Which is weird, because coming into the season, their defense (and D-Line especially) was supposed to be their money-maker, and their offense was a question mark after the dismissal of Kellen Lewis (QB).  But they've acclimated themselves quite well throughout the year and have become "a mediocre team with occasional upset-potential" rather than the anticipated "pure drivel."

And with that, I think the cheerleaders sum it up best:

(Beer!)

Next up, a potential triple-header this weekend: Maple Leafs @ Blackhawks Friday night (my first time seeing my Leafs in-person.  Yes, they suck, but I'm as excited as a pig in shit), Michigan @ Wisconsin football Saturday morning, and then Alaska-Anchorage @ Wisconsin Men's hockey Saturday night.  I may be in line for a 20,000-word post after a weekend full of travel and little sleep.  I'm terrified.