Hello Wisconsin

It'd been a while. 

The last time I remember being in Madison was for a Pat McCurdy concert many weeks ago, and the last time I'd seen a football game there was, well, last fall sometime (far too lazy to look up which game it was).  But, yeah, it'd been a while.

So after a quick pit stop to see my Phillies lose a terrible game to the Brewers on Friday night, I rolled into Trav's place just before midnight, enjoyed a beer and hit the hay, ready to face the best of what Madison could give us bright and early Saturday morning.

We had planned on waking up by 7 and hitting the road by 7:30, and we did, but I had basically been up off and on all night already with Trav's yelping puppy chocolate lab who would not stop whining until he was let out at 2:30 and 5:00 am.  Generally I have a decent tolerance for dogs, but this annoyed the tar out of me, likely because Hunter is a lab.  I cannot stand labs.  Honestly, I think they're the worst breed of dog in the world.  If Michael Vick had fought with labs rather than pitbulls, I may own his jersey right now.  And the thing is, I cannot really pinpoint why I have such disdain for the breed, but I do, and it's not going to be changing anytime soon.  So, yeah, annoying whining lab all night + early game = grumpy Ryan for the first hour of the day.

As I mentioned in the last entry, we decided to tailgate for this game rather than do the standard bar crawl, and I think it was received pretty well by everyone.  We set up shop by 8am and I had 3 beers in me before 9.  Really set a nice tone for the day.  Beer of choice this morning?  MGD 64.  I love the stuff.  Here's the thing: I'm older now, so my tolerance is already far weaker than it was when I was in my college and immediate post-college days, so it doesn't take many drinks to get me buzzing, and since it won't take many drinks, why not get light ones that will keep the calories off?  Big win.  I mean, if I was still at the point where it took a solid 12 beers in 2 hours to even come close to a buzz, drinking that much 64 would be pointless because that number would obviously jump to like 16 needed to get drunk.  But since it takes me like 20 oz of any vaguely alcoholic liquid to start feeling nice, why not make it the healthy stuff?  So, yeah, I am a huge proponent of MGD 64.

An early highlight of the tailgate and the day in general was the return of our friend Al Mafa Dante* (*Note: Not his real name).  He had moved out west to Portland, OR within the last couple years so we hadn't had a chance to see and hang out with him in ages.  But he moved back to Madison a day or 2 before the tailgate so we let him know where to find us, and lo and behold, there he is at 9am.  It was great to catch up, learn about the places his life had taken him (the guy could do anything he wants in life.  He rocked like a 4.0 in college and then decided to drop out and move away and travel, then went back and finished up equally as kick-ass as he started).  Good to see Dante.

One discussion we had early on in the tailgate was about a female Michigan State fan and whether she was very pregnant or just had a remarkably round belly.  The early consensus was preggers.  The stomach was just far too round.  We thought it impossible for any human to have a rounded stomach like that without and living, growing fetus inside.  But we decided to keep our eyes on her to see if she tried any alcohol.  Within minutes, we saw her drinking a Miller Lite.  So either she:
A) Had the most abnormally rounded stomach in the Eastern US
B) Was pregnant, but living in 1963
or C) Hiding an inflated beach ball in her shirt to bat around during the game.
I desperately wish I had a photo of her, but sadly I couldn't manuever into a good enough position to get a good stealth photo.  Gonna have to trust me on this one.  For reference, it remotely resembled this:

As far as anything crazy at the tailgate, not much.  Pretty mellow and low-key and just a good morning for conversation.  Around 10:20, we started to pack up and head towards the stadium... Yes, the real stadium.

Ok, we didn't make it in one straight shot.  We pit-stopped @ the Big Ten Pub, like usual, to pound a quickie.  In our defense, though, when we did end up leaving the Big Ten, we made it a point to walk directly to Camp Randall and not past the Stadium Bar, so as to not get tempted.  Thank Goodness.

The one kind of fun thing about bars during pre-game is you really get to see all sorts of different marketing techniques at work.  At Buck's across from our tailgate, the local hard-rock radio station hosts a party there during Badger pre-games, so it's a lot of loud music, swearing DJs, and women wearing little clothing.  At the Big Ten?... You get this:

Yes, Curd Cow.  Giving away cheese curds to all who wanted them.  Well, not all.  This is Wisconsin.  80% of the people there already had brought their own.

To anyone that has not been to Camp Randall Stadium in the last, oh, 5 years, you may not know about their statue out in front of the stadium.  Let's offer a pop quiz.  Is the following picture:

A) A tribute to corn?

B) A tribute to the sex toy industry?

or C) A horrific piece of Nightmare Fuel for anyone who has ever suffered from hemorrhoids?

The answer is A.  But you would get full credit for answering B or C.  I'm a lenient grader.

Once in the stadium, Trav and Bowds headed to the seats while Head and I took a quick potty break and grabbed some food.  Head opted for everyone's favorite stadium food, Nachos.  I wish I could get into Nachos more.  I just don't enjoy the cheese.  I'll have a chip, but the cheese just is too much.  My food, obviously is the Big Pretzel.  Here was mine (and honestly, it wasn't the local Kiwanis Club's best effort.  Had I been a bit more drunk, I may have thrown it back at the 10-year-old working the counter and said, "Hey, heat this sumbitch up!".... ok, no, I wouldn't do that.  I'm far more passive.  It would have been polite.... ok, I wouldn't have done the polite thing either.  I was just going to eat it and keep my mouth shut):

By the time we actually sat down I think we had missed the first 2 minutes, which, big deal, nothing happens that early anyways* (*Note = Not always true .... Go Colts!).

The game itself was very entertaining.  Tons of offense, big plays, the crowd was intense... well, at least after the first quarter.

(5 minutes left in the first quarter... Hey, don't get mad at the Student Section.  It's tradition)

(See, it fills in eventually.  Settle down, old people)

I wish I had taken more notes on the game itself, but I was with good company so there was a lot of chatting in-between plays, which is when I would usually be taking notes if I were by myself.  No worries.  If you're that worried about game details.... But if you're worried about fan details?

(I have no idea what kind of fake designer women's sunglasses these are, but I can assure that is a man, and I can assure that he is old.  Uncomfortable for everyone).

One other thing I also noticed about our immediate vicinity?  Red heads.  Good lord, gingers everywhere.  I mean, I realize MSU's colors are green and white, but they aren't exactly Irish.  But seriously, when I say a lot of redheads, I mean it.  Like, enough to notice.  Just the fact that I'm mentioning it should show you how many were there.  When's the last time you've been in a place and had more than 5 redheads within a stone's throw of you?  Ok, now multiply the 5 redheads by like 12.  I didn't have my pitchfork with me for protection, but I kept a good lookout for any sudden movements.

So, Wisconsin dominated the game and we decided to leave with about 4ish minutes left.  Bad news bears.  Apparently MSU made a half-scary comeback and managed to get within 8 before the clock ended the game.  Eeeeks.  Still, I don't feel bad about leaving.  You're up 21 with less than 5 to play.  That lead is safe.

Some quick observations about the game itself I guess:

1) Scott Tolzien continues to impress.  I wish Curt P (not Pochert) had gotten a little more run in the game to try and expand the team's offensive repertoire, but I'll take a solid throwing quarterback and not be greedy.  It's kind of a first for WI to have a pretty studly passing QB, so no complaints.

2) Any "expert" who said MSU was a contender for the conference title in the pre-season knows nothing.  They had to replace a stud QB and an even studlier RB.  That alone is grounds for a major regression.  I mean, I did figure they'd be competetive this season, but certainly not in contention.  But yeah, they're a sketchy team.

3) Greg Jones is fun to watch at Linebacker for MSU.  I hope he ends up on the Colts someday.  I like him.

4) John Clay can be a top-5 running back when he gets his mind set on it.  Really studly.  But of course, any Wisconsin fan already knew that and has been waiting for him to do this consistently. 

5) I don't know if Garret Graham is a legit TE prospect or if he just simply happens to always seem to be in the right place at the right time.  Either way, he's a fun watch weekly for Badger fans.

Post-game we hit the standard round of bars.  Our idiot friend Miller couldn't find us in the Big Ten Pub parking lot beer gardens for well over an hour.  On the plus side, I did happen to see this guy:

(Tiny hat, or gargantuan melon?)

The after-party was fairly short-lived, as we had to head back to Trav's to let the dog out and eat a quickie pizza order from Pizza Hut.  The plan was to regroup at the house for an hour before going back out.  Well, the food knocked out Bowds and Trav (the alcohol, no problem.  But pizza?  Killer, apparently).  I was not happy with this, but at least we got to hang out and watch the night games (Iowa, man, that's coming together nicely there... and in spite of Drew Tate's unathletic cousin as their QB!).

So that was an overly unnecessarily detailed breakdown of my trip to Madison on Saturday.

Next up?  A bonus game!  Pittsburg Pirates @ the Cubs, Wednesday day game!  I'll be back with hopefully some mundane observations on that experience.  Otherwise, we've got Wisconsin making their first trip to my alma mater's new stadium in Minneapolis.  Yup, it's Wisconsin! Minnesota! TCF Bank Stadium! ("The Bank" is open on Saturdays!.... my wife owns that trademarked phrase, actually.  I like it.  It's clever.  Marketing genius, she is)...  I am very excited to get up there and see the new stadium that I COMPLETELY DISAPPROVED.  But I'll keep an open mind until I experience it.